Showing posts with label Natural Healthcare. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Natural Healthcare. Show all posts

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Alright, Flylady, I shined my sink. NOW what??

It's that time of year. The season has officially changed. The summer clothes need to packed away for next year, and the lovely sweaters get laundered and brought back out. That always throws me into a cleaning spree. Is fall cleaning a thing? If not, it bloody well should be! It CERTAINLY is a thing here. And this year, happy birthday to me, I am getting my dad's sleeper sofa, which I love. I ALSO inherited two FABULOUS dog crates.

Have I mentioned that my house is tiny? That I have OCD? Yeah......... And now, EVERY SINGLE PIECE OF FURNITURE I OWN HAS TO BE MOVED (except Roo's bed, which is a Goliath beast of a thing and will not move unless and until we are moving out of this house. It took three people four days to get it where it is now!) Also, the laundry/storage room was a big heap of cluttered chaos. I haven't been able to find anything in there since a few weeks after the last time I pulled EVERYTHING out and reorganized it. So I pulled everything out again. But good news! We think we found Hoffa behind the paint cans left behind by some previous inhabitant....

In the last week, I have thrown away two over-full big trash bins (you know, the small dumpster thing the sanitation folks send out?) of junk, my paper recycle bin has been filled to overflowing twice (it's more than overflowing now, and I DON'T think they pick up recycling this week. Oops!!). I've donated TWELVE bags of clothes and shoes, SIX boxes of food-that-isn't-gluten-free, and I am currently looking for the right family to give FIVE bins of toys and games for preschoolers, a play vanity, and a tricycle (Merry Christmas!). I even finally talked myself into throwing away the patio bench that I loved so much that has been broken since May and cannot be fixed.

I've rearranged both bedrooms, the living room, the storage room, and the carport. On Thursday, the lawn will get mowed and edged, and the garden spots will be adorned, and, in theory, my coveted sleeper sofa will be arriving in my living room.

And I am asking myself, again, how do I keep my house and my brain in shape once I have completed my own personal Extreme Home Makeover: Crap You Already Own Edition. I am also asking myself exactly WHERE I am going to store my extra towels now that I've moved the dresser they were stored in into my bedroom and my tall-boy into the storage room to hold art, craft, and school supplies so I can actually FIND them. But that's not what this post is about. Much.

I've tried "organizing," "housekeeping" and other such systems in the past, including letting my OCD and my ADD wage war and wreak havoc in my head - and my kitchen. And ALWAYS, ALWAYS, I overthink things WAY too much, and I let my OCD get the better of me (as it will do, whether you "allow" it to or not!), and I give up, and three months later, I spend ten days trying to sort through boxes of what-the-heck-is-this?! and I-forgot-I-owned-this! Seriously. I went through a box of stuff tongight. I didn't know the box existed, much less the really cool vases and the WEATHER RADIO it contained. I have no idea how long I've had it. Probably all summer. And I've been LOOKING for a weather radio. To PURCHASE. So glad I never got around to that!!

So, I am working my way through the laundry and the storage room at this point, and then, a thorough cleaning of the floors, and I am finished. I am determined that the contents of my storage room shall henceforth remain static. If something goes in, something comes out, and it will only contain (other than the laundry supplies. DUH!) art supplies, craft supplies, school supplies, a spare AC, ceramic space heaters, camping supplies, and seasonal decorations. And I may need to scale those back.

I need to maintain, and keep organizing regularly. But how?

So, I thought I'd give Flylady another go, but this time, I am determined not to try to get ahead of myself. She says to make shining your sink a habit, right? But the "baby steps" are theoretically a month's worth of things. Not me. Not this time. So, here's my plan.

Flylady has "zone missions," right? Each week, they focus on a different area of the house, and each day, there's a short "mission" for that area. I should do that.

I like the ideas at Organizing Made Fun's 31-day challenge. It was for October. Nobody says I can't do it now. It's like a daily mission. I should do that, too. That's two short tasks a day. Morning and afternoon, right?

And I am not doing Flylady's steps in 31 days. I don't shine my sink. It's not even close to a habit. I am just going to work on THAT step and the mission-things until I'm doing it without flipping out on myself or complaining, or stressing. THAT's a better plan for me, I think. I should TOTALLY do that.

I am hoping that maybe this time I can maintain without the crazy anxiety attacks I get. Because, honestly, as mildly as I've got it, OCD is a BEAST. I was talking to a friend tonight while I was working on the patio trying to get stuff done, and I said the following, almost ver batim:

"This is stupid. I am seriously about to have an anxiety attack because I don't have the right bin for my lumber, and I don't know where the lumber goes. And I want it in an opaque bin with no lid. If I am going to use a CLEAR bin, I want my garden stuff in that. Okay, transferring garden stuff to clear bin. That's a bit better. I still don't know where the heck to put it without making it look JUNKY. You know what I need? I need some pallets and some canvas and a sheet of plywood so I can build a little mini-shed-thing to store my garden stuff in, because then it wouldn't look junky. And another one (or two) for my lumber, because that makes SENSE, darn it. And I feel COMPLETELY insane right now, because I can acknowledge that I am about to have an anxiety attack. I can tell you exactly WHAT is triggering my anxiety attack. But I can't do a THING to prevent it, because if I go inside and get away from the trigger, the anxiety is only going to get WORSE. I feel stupid. A stupid, insane, neurotic mess. OMG. Where do these bins go?"

I've got a bunch of laundry to put away. I haven't vacuumed the floor yet. So I can't put the laundry away. I know that's ridiculous. But it's true. And that's neurosis. And it's OCD. And it's my daily self. So. I am going to go put away dishes, wash a couple, because my sink isn't shining right now, and go back to work on the carport and the laundry.

And when I am finished, I have this plan to thoroughly clean my vacuum cleaner. That gives me a bit of anxiety too, because it has to dry for 24-48 hours, and I vacuum about every six hours. Not the whole house, mind, but SOMETHING.

But after THAT, I am going to just see how I do doing the flylady system, basic daily cleaning, and some organizing challenges. Because my life is crisis cleaning, and I can't live like this. Especially not if I am going back to school full-time (starting up again tomorrow! YAY!) and trying to get a "real job"

But where the heck am I going to keep my rag towels?!

I keep trying to just breathe and remember:
Íosa Críost é buadhach (Isous Christos NIKA) (Jesus Christ is Victorious)

Stay tuned for the reason we started learning this phrase! Bullying and Boy Scouts.

With love as always




Friday, October 4, 2013

New Chapter

It seems we're entering a new chapter. I will explore it later in some detail, but right now, I am just asking for your prayers as we enter into the public school system and back into the work force.

posted from Bloggeroid

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Medicated Kids - My Story

Source: www.maafirm.com

It's been two months or so since I blogged. My apologies for that. Life went nuts, as life will do. But I promised you my personal story of childhood meds, didn't I? Maybe that's why I've been avoiding blogging. Because it's a big huge thing for me to discuss. Well, that, and the busted internet connection followed by busted computer, lather, rinse, repeat. Technology and I? We're not the best of friends most days.

So, I guess I will start in the early 1980's. I was in kindergarten or first grade when I was diagnosed with ADHD and put on Ritalin. My parents did everything right. They really did. There was not as much "generally accepted" information then as there is today. Today, it seems that most parents (at least in my circles, but then, I guess I tend to travel in a lot of "crunchy, hippie mom" circles! That's just odd!!) are skeptical of the "standard" medical approach of giving kids ritalin, adderal, strattera, vyvanse, and MAYBE some talk-therapy down the road. Most of the moms I know THESE DAYS try everything else first. We're the GAPS loons, the Feingolders, the crazy, homeopathic quack-factories our grandparents warned us about. And we're proud of it, because it's working. But that just wasn't what you DID back then - anymore than most moms were rushing out to join a La Leche League or an organic CSA. Lack of awareness? I don't know. But regardless, in the mid-1980's, the answer to ADHD was ALWAYS Ritalin. My folks went way above and beyond though, and also enlisted the help of a series of fantastic child psychologists, play groups, etc to help us learn coping skills and ways to manage the disorder rather than just treat the symptoms.

While I don't remember it, my mom recalls this period of my life as very tumultuous. She really describes my time off of Ritalin (so, what? EVERY afternoon?) as pretty bad - tantrums, crying fits, screaming, self-harming behavior. Sadly, the last part I DO remember. I remember feeling totally out of control and hating myself for feeling that way. I felt like if I could adequately punish myself for being such a failure, for feeling out of control, for needing meds, for being unable to complete simple tasks, and for just being ME, that maybe it would go away. I won't go into the details. But it lasted into my twenties, and I have scars. I think, from a young age, I really, genuinely hated myself. I wasn't angry at the people around me. I was angry at ME. And I took it out on me pretty violently.

Over the years, I went off of the ADHD meds. I don't honestly remember how THAT went either. Frankly, a lot of my formative years are pretty hazy to me. But let's just move on forward to the mid-1990's, where things get really dark, and I admit, in public, things I have never told most people. A few know. I've discussed it with my priest. But this is my raw, real, honest moment, and it's UGLY.

In 1995, I finished middle school. I  had my first real date. I had my first kiss. My best, and for years my ONLY friend died. I aged out of the youth choir that had basically been my entire life since fourth grade. I had major surgery to correct an eye muscle problem. I had to have my dog (who  had been in the family longer than I had!) put to sleep. I started high school. And I was a nerd. A chubby, frizzy-haired, four-eyed, friendless nerd. In a huge new school. When someone at my LAST school had told me that they wished I had died when my friend did. I didn't really fit in anywhere. Not at church. Not at school. Not in extracurricular activities. I just felt lost. And alone. And depressed. I reached out to a few people, but you know how kids are. So, the bullying got worse. The ADHD got worse. The depressed feelings (though I don't want to say "depression" because I believe now that it was situational more than chemical) got worse. It just escalated.

I finally began to see a psychologist. Then a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist put me on zoloft, which was awful. It's been black boxed now, and has been deemed UNSAFE for adolescents because it can cause psychoses, suicidal actions, and a host of other lovelies. And it did. I went from "troubled" to "psychotic" with seriously full-on "hearing voices" and night terrors. I went into these states where........ It's hard to explain. But it was like I was trying to crawl into myself and just hide. But I couldn't. And I was freaked out. So I couldn't move. I couldn't function. I couldn't really speak or interact with people. But I could - and did - chew holes in my hands that were terrible and messy. I still have scars. And that? It made the bullying WORSE. And it made me feel MORE isolated and alone and now CRAZY on top of it. So they put me on antipsychotics. But those made my insomnia MUCH worse. So they put me on sleeping pills. And those gave me horrific recurring nightmares.

And on, and on, it cycled and cycled.

Until just before my sixteenth birthday, when I took all my pills.

I don't think I really wanted to die. I just wanted the hurt to stop. I wanted it to be over. I couldn't do it anymore, and I was desperate.

Thank God I realized what I had done, and I told my mother who was able to get me to the hospital in time.

If not wanting to die isn't enough of a deterrent, I promise you, having your stomach pumped and then pumped full of activated charcoal is enough. I never want to go through anything like that again. Ever. And not just because I am so thankful to be alive.

But it didn't get better. I still had to go to school and face people. Until my parents agreed to keep me home and let me go on a "hospital/home bound" program for the rest of the year. Still isolated. Still miserable. Still on meds, this time Paxil, which has ALSO since been black boxed.

I spent the next year in a private school, which was just as terrible. I took myself off of drugs the next summer. I won't get into the story there. It wasn't good, and I ran away from home during that time. But when I was home, and off the drugs, I started to recover somewhat. I finished high school. I worked. I had a somewhat normal life. I still have issues. Some people think it's the ADHD and/or depression (folks, I do not believe that I have depression. I believe that I have a heck of a lot of stress, and get depressed SITUATIONALLY. Depression is a very real, clinical, chemical illness, and it's not something that I believe that I have.). I have also had doctors suggest that some of my "issues" may be related to the string of black-boxed drugs I spent my formative years taking. I can't change things, so I won't dwell on it too much. I do my best. I pray a LOT. I try to overcome, and I choose not to take those types of medications as an adult. I've had doctors offer to give me prescriptions for medications that may help. They help with fibromyalgia symptoms or anxiety, I am told. But I know my personal history, and it's not a risk I am willing to take.

I think my history is also the biggest reason that I am willing to try everything else under the son before I will ever consent to medicate my child for a psychological or emotional disorder. I am just not willing to risk the reactions that I know I had, and that other children have had.

Please be gentle with me, friends. This post was very hard to write. I cried a lot writing this, and I am about a hair's breadth away from an anxiety attack from putting these words in print at all, much less in a very public way.

Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.

____________________________________________________________



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Saturday, July 20, 2013

Drugged kids?

Y'all know this issue is close to my heart. So, I am going to post my story soon (tonight or tomorrow I hope), but for now, I HIGHLY recommend watching this documentary. It really delves deep into some of the reasons I refuse to medicate my family.


Monday, July 8, 2013

The Return of the Fidget

Glory to God! My little man made it home last night! And he's psyched about our new eating plan.

It was an interesting week. I was working on cleaning up his room, which had an odor I couldn't find the source of. Well, I found it.

See, the thing is, my child is six, and still wets the bed fairly regularly. The doctors have said they don't consider it abnormal until it's still happening when he's coming up on nine. So we just handle it. Or so I though. I've layered the mattress - a waterproof cover, a fitted sheet, repeat a few times. I also snagged him some extra bedspreads. That way, if he wets, we can pull off a fitted sheet and a quilt and just throw on a new bedspread and get back to sleep. No big deal, right?

Apparently it is. It seems that his dad's family makes a HUGE DEAL about it, and he gets in  trouble there if he wets - even though his dad has admitted to wetting through elementary school himself. So, I guess he's sort of internalized it or something. Or he's afraid that I am going to flip out too. I don't know. I get that it's embarrassing. I really do. But I try to make it "just a thing" for us. It's just something we deal with because it has to be handled.

But he had trashed his closet. I mean toys, books, shoes - everything just CRAMMED IN THERE. And not just crammed in, but covering his hidden accidents. When he wet, he crammed stuff in the closet instead of coming to me with it. So I CLEARED OUT THE CLOSET. All of it. The closet is no longer storage for toys at all.

It became a project for the whole house.

I pulled books off his bookshelf, and moved the books to the living room. I pulled the bookshelf (yes, bookshelf) out of the bathroom to store our collection of VHS tapes. I put the bookshelf from his room into the bathroom. Then I set out to build him cubbies out of milk crates so I could take the plastic drawers and reclaim them for art supplies. Here are some photos. Please forgive the blurriness of some of them. I took several, but I've got this hand-me-down point-and-shoot.....

Milk crate cubbies - all of his toys are organized and accessible under his loft bed. He has a toy cave!

This corner was ALL cluttered up. The bookshelf (and four milk crates) were at the window, and everything else was shoved behind the closet door. Now he can actually get to his music stuff!

I shifted around posters, cleared and cleaned the top of his desk (and underneath it. Dude is a clutterbug!).

This was also crammed full of toys (and milk crates!). The cool hat rack was behind the bedroom door)

I cleaned up the area between the door and the closet and used some wood salvaged from my neighbors kitchen remodel to build the boy a trophy shelf. I have to pick up his trophy, but when he got home, we hung his pine derby ribbon and put the derby car on the shelf. 

Smaller, but much more suited shelf in the bathroom. I think I like it better!

This one WAS in the bathroom, and the VHS tapes were taking over my world (and by "world" I mean "beloved huge bookshelf that I scored for cheap at Goodwill). I love it here, and all our movies fit. There WAS a stack of milk crates there, but they were turned into cubbies in the boy's room. So we've gone full circle!

I am still working on the rest of the house. Still figuring out how I want the laundry/storage room organized, how I want my art/craft supplies organized in there, and how to get people to buy all the loads and loads of stuff in my carport waiting for a yard sale!! I have to move my dresser to make room for an extra-large dog crate. And I am still working my way through laundry - cleaning EVERYTHING here!

I know some of you are curious how the "diet" is going. I hate that word, "diet," but I guess it applies if we take it to mean "the way a creature eats" not "a hare-brained scheme to lose a lot of weight fast with no long-term plan."  The Young Farmer is totally on board, especially if it means he gets to graze on fresh chard and carrots. I'm working on a pot of soup for his lunches this week, which he's totally excited about. It's split pea and broccoli soup with some turkey. He picked it out.

We talked about gluten, what it was, and why it may not be a good idea for us. He wasn't sure what to think at first, then he discovered the juicer and forgot ALL ABOUT bread. He had fun picking out stuff to put in juice. We have made apple juice and blueberry lemonade for him today. Both were pretty exciting. 

My "jus de jour" today was kale, cucumber, swiss chard, carrot, dandelion greens, bell pepper, apple, blueberry, and lemon. It is actually quite satisfying and tasty. No, I haven't quit my coffee. 

For dinner, we made stir fry with chard and carrots from the garden and your standard-fare stir-fry veggies (cauliflower, broccoli, water chestnuts, snap peas, green beans, peppers, baby corn, mushrooms, fresh garlic, onion, a bit of kale, and brussels sprouts) cooked in bone broth with just a bit of fish sauce and about three ounces of ground turkey. I am guessing the boy liked it. He ate THREE BOWLS of it.

So, so far so good. Kiddo loves his room, loves the kitchen, loves the food. He loves to have a hand in the decision making about what foods we're eating. I think that helps a lot. We talked a bit about how Mama is sick a lot, and this can help me get better, and also about how it might help him feel better instead of feeling so frustrated and grumpy sometimes (how he explains the "ADHD moments" - oh, how well I understand!).  His only request was that we make Saturdays pizza day. I told him we could compromise with a gluten-free crust. He agreed happily. 

I will take off for now, I've got laundry waiting for me! Thanks for reading. Thanks for praying. And thanks, so much, for being with me on this journey of mine.

_______________________________________






Thursday, July 4, 2013

The Disturbing Truth (and a plan)

Did you ever REALLY want to get on a crazy health kick but not know where to start?

Get on Netflix. Watch some documentaries. Scare yourself. Give yourself  some hope.  It works.
Actually, I was sold before I got on Netflix and started watching Food Matters; Hungry for Change; Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead; and Genetic Roulette (okay, that one was on Amazon Prime). I was sold before. I watched the documentaries to stay in the zone. I am going to try to watch one every day for a month or two. They help keep me in the right frame of mind. They remind me that this is not (entirely) about my weight. This is a health thing. This is necessary.

This? Oh, yeah. Did I mention that I am transitioning us onto the GAPS diet with an extra focus on whole food, specifically veggies? Yeah. I am.

Let me give you an overview of where we are right now, and understand that I am going public right now, being more honest about this stuff than I really like to be. So be gentle with me.

Right now, this moment, I weigh 261 pounds.
I am 5'3" and some change. That's not going to change.
I am 32 years old.
I have been diagnosed with the following:
Chronic Migraines (basilar, common/classic, acelphagic (silent), hemiplegic, static, and transformed types)
Osteoarthritis (and possible rheumatoid arthritis, but we haven't completed the testing yet)
Fibromyalgia
SLE (Lupus)
Eczema
Psoriasis
Chronic Urticaria
Kidney Dysfunction
Hypokalemia (low potassium, which is wasted by my kidneys)
Hypomagnesemia (low magnesium)
Anemia (iron deficiency and B12 deficiency)
Occasional Hypertension (usually related to potassium levels)
Hashimoto's Thyroiditis
Adenomyosis
Endometriosis
ADHD
OCD
Chronic Fungal Infections
Allergies (seasonal, cats, dermal - and excitingly, I am VERY allergic to antihistamines. Yeah. BENADRYL COULD KILL ME. How awesome is that??)
Chronic Insomnia


But hey, I have good hair, right? RIGHT?!

And my son has some serious behavioral/emotional challenges.

Listen, if you're reading this, and you have faith in God, whether or not you are Orthodox, I would greatly appreciate it if you would stop right now and pray for me.

It is a miracle that I don't have diabetes. It is a wonder that my blood pressure is not ALWAYS high. I can't even tell you.

But if I keep going like this, honestly, very, painfully, brutally honestly, it will be a miracle if I live to see my granchildren born.

And yet, the pressing issue to me RIGHT NOW, is that I am constantly in pain, uncomfortable, and demoralized. It's a challenge to bend over and pick up the keys that I dropped on the floor. It's painful to get out of bed. It's difficult to get up out of a chair. Walking to the store? Up the road? Less than a mile away? It's taxing. I cannot live like this anymore.

And I know that my Wild Child is not happy being unable to control his hyperactive anger (to quote his pediatrician, "anyone who doesn't believe he has ADHD has not spent more than ten minutes with him.") He is CERTAINLY not happy when his outbursts follow their natural consequences. I've been injured in the middle of them before. It's not a good thing.

I think I mentioned before that I have been seriously researching the GAPS diet, and I want to transition us both onto it. That's happening. We need it.

But I think I am going further for myself.

Right now, since Sunday, I have been eating only raw fruits and vegetables, healthy oils, and flax seeds in salads and smoothies. On Monday, I started a big pot of perpetual bone broth with the giant soup bones my butcher cut for me ($12 for ten pounds of marrow bone? From grass-fed local cows? YES PLEASE!). Yesterday, I got my juicer (thanks to a dear friend, a gift certificate, and free two-day shipping from Amazon Prime), and I've been drinking juice. I'm still drinking coffee, but I am limiting it to two cups a day and sweetening it with local, raw honey (which helps the allergies!).

I am planning on keeping this up. On fasting days, I am planning to just drink raw juice.

I need prayer! I don't know how this is going to work when my son gets home from his trip. I know the first step for him is getting rid of the junk foods and gluten. I will see how that goes and work with our doctor to figure out the next step from there.

I just wanted to get this out there, because I want to be public about this. It keeps me accountable. It lets me see my progress. It lets YOU see my progress. It gives you the opportunity to pray for me, talk to me, or even join me in this journey. I am scared and excited at the same time. I am praying that this will really help us. I want to be around for my grandchildren. I want to be able to keep up with my son. Heck, I want to be able to get off the couch every day!

Again, please pray for me. Or wish me luck. Or both!

Thanks for reading.

......................................................................

Linking up with:

Thank Your Body
Jill's Home Remedies
Hearts for Home


Monday, July 1, 2013

Monday, Monday (bah dah, bah dah dah dah)

Don't tell me you're not singing it yet.


Okay, I am not as cool as Mama Cass Elliot. I am just not. I am, however, an awesome (and overweight) woman. You can call me Mama Kath.

No?

Okay.

Enjoy the music anyway. For my friends on the Old Calendar, today is the first day of the Apostle's Fast. It is interesting to me how the calendar difference can just erase an entire fast period from the calendar for a big chunk of the Orthodox world. It makes me wonder about things. I think I am going to sit down later, perhaps, and do some research into WHY so many jurisdictions changed their calendar! Does anybody know?

Regardless of your calendar, it is Monday. Summer is in full swing. My sunflowers are HUGE, and my little garden is producing little green tomatoes and tiny carrots. And my much-beloved Lawn Dude is here working his magic on the overgrown jungle of my yard. This is the downside of summer. if I go two weeks without mowing, it turns into a perilous jungle out there. Seriously. Little Man plays tiger in the tall grass. There are dangers in the jungle!



Speaking of the wee one, he is currently out of town with his dad. They're going to the annual family reunion. He was totally excited. I was........not. I haven't been away from my only child for more than just a couple of days in a VERY long time. So eight days and seven nights is not really an appealing thing for me right now. It's been less than 36 hours, and I have already turned into a crazy woman.

At least I use my powers of neurosis for GOOD, right?

I am cleaning, reorganizing, sorting, washing, scrubbing, planting, baking, creating, fixing, rearranging - probably sulking a little bit too. I am trying to see this week as my opportunity to do some serious projects that I can't easily get done when the kiddo is home.

I tossed out all the junk food, so I don't get lonely and binge on junk. I went to the grocery store, and I loaded my cart with fresh, seasonal veggies to eat while he's gone. I am planning on not re-purchasing any of the junk when he gets home. I've been doing more and more research on things like the GAPS Diet, the Feingold Hypothesis, and whole foods as health care. I am sold on GAPS, since I personally know several people it's worked for. Some bits of Feingold have been common knowledge in the ADHD community for years and years (artificial stuff is bad for you! Also, it hinders our ability to exercise some control over our emotions and things. And let's face it, my family puts the H in ADHD.) So I am going to work on transitioning us into a GAPS style of eating, with special emphasis on whole foods and local stuff when possible.

I am currently re-arranging my "pantry thing."

You remember the pantry thing? Did I show you the pantry thing?

This:

It's a great pantry. I love it. When I moved in, I was using a half-broken old changing table as a pantry shelf thing. See, my kitchen has 13-foot ceilings, and the cabinets go ALL THE WAY UP, but the lowest cabinet is about six-and-a-half feet up there, and I am only 5'4". So most of the glorious cabinet space here is entirely wasted. I briefly entertained the idea of taking the doors off and putting pretty stuff in it, but then realized that I wouldn't be able to reach it to DUST!

It didn't take long for the half-broken changing table to become an entirely-broken-beyond-repair heap of useless MDFboard. When that happened, my mother picked this up at a garage sale for me. It's brilliant. I painted it when I built some really cheap cabinet doors to keep my dog out of the trash. Did I show you those either? (NOT useless MDF board here. This MDF board was very useful, and also free. I paid for the hasp. That was it!)


But I am rearranging the pantry. I have two purposes here.If we're going to eat REALLY HEALTHY STUFF, well, then I don't need a pantry full of cheap stuff, so I don't need to dedicate shelves to things we PROBABLY shouldn't be eating anyway. I do, however, need some space for my business supplies.

Yes. Business supplies!

I am now making and selling organic bath and body products.

It was an answer to prayer, and it happened SO suddenly. Have we discussed my health? I have lupus, eczema, and psoriasis (among other things. But these are the pertinent issues that lead to the business). I was sitting up one night, entirely unable to sleep, OUT of any products that would make me stop itching, burning, and hurting all over. In desperation, I went to my garden and grabbed what I could: lavender, mint, rosemary, and calendula. And I started to work distilling, pressing, and infusing my extra-virgin olive oil to try to get some relief. It helped!

Next, I made a moisturizing bath soak.

Then a heavy body balm for the worst spots.

Then a lotion for maintenance.

Then I started making a little money selling it. Now I am working on opening up an etsy shop! I'll let you know when that's up and running.


My skin is feeling better than it has since I was a CHILD, and some of the spots I have been fighting for months are FINALLY starting to clear up. 

So that's my Monday so far. What's your Monday looking like? Do you have big plans for the week?

......................................................................


mop it up mondays

Saturday, May 4, 2013

Pascha at Home?

So, if you've been following much, you know that I am pretty badly injured, and driving is a problem right now. So let's add to that the very rainy day, the very dark skies, my bad vision, bald tires, and engine "issues." It's just not safe or feasible for us to drive to church tonight. We were so sad. We absolutely live for Pascha. It's our favorite. My son, who wants to be a priest when he grows up, can often be found knocking on doors, so that "the King of Glory may enter in!" (And all year, I must ask him "Who is this King of Glory?" from the other side of my bedroom door.)

At random points throughout the year, he asks for The Homily.  That only means one thing. He wants the Paschal Homily of Saint John Chrysostom. "Hell received a body and encountered God. It received earth and confronted heaven. Oh death, where is thy sting? Oh hell, where is thy victory?"

We live, basically from Pascha to Pascha, awaiting the Resurrection service.

But we can't go. It's just not safe this year.

Perhaps it will be safer for the Agape Vespers.

So I am digging through what I have, and finding the Reader Service for Pascha so we can celebrate at home.

In the meantime, here are some pictures from our Pascha Garden, and the text of The Homily! Pray for us, please.








If any be a devout lover of God,
  let him partake with gladness from this fair and radiant feast.
If any be a faithful servant,
  let him enter rejoicing into the joy of his Lord.
If any have wearied himself with fasting,
  let him now enjoy his reward.
If any have laboured from the first hour,
  let him receive today his rightful due.
If any have come after the third,
  let him celebrate the feast with thankfulness.
If any have come after the sixth,
  let him not be in doubt, for he will suffer no loss.
If any have delayed until the ninth,
  let him not hesitate but draw near.
If any have arrived only at the eleventh,
  let him not be afraid because he comes so late.

For the Master is generous and accepts the last even as the first.
He gives rest to him who comes at the eleventh hour
  in the same was as him who has laboured from the first.
He accepts the deed, and commends the intention.

Enter then, all of you, into the joy of our Lord.
First and last, receive alike your reward.
Rich and poor, dance together.
You who fasted and you who have not fasted, rejoice together.
The table is fully laden: let all enjoy it.
The calf is fatted: let none go away hungry.

Let none lament his poverty;
  for the universal Kingdom is revealed.
Let none bewail his transgressions;
  for the light of forgiveness has risen from the tomb.
Let none fear death;
  for death of the Saviour has set us free.

He has destroyed death by undergoing death.
He has despoiled hell by descending into hell.
He vexed it even as it tasted of His flesh.
Isaiah foretold this when he cried:
Hell was filled with bitterness when it met Thee face to face below;
  filled with bitterness, for it was brought to nothing;
  filled with bitterness, for it was mocked;
  filled with bitterness, for it was overthrown;
  filled with bitterness, for it was put in chains.
Hell received a body, and encountered God. It received earth, and confronted heaven.
O death, where is your sting?
O hell, where is your victory?

Christ is risen! And you, o death, are annihilated!
Christ is risen! And the evil ones are cast down!
Christ is risen! And the angels rejoice!
Christ is risen! And life is liberated!
Christ is risen! And the tomb is emptied of its dead;
for Christ having risen from the dead,
is become the first-fruits of those who have fallen asleep.

To Him be Glory and Power, now and forever, and from all ages to all ages.
Amen!

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

ADHD, Ritalin, Valerian Root, Homeschooling, and Objections

How's THAT for a title?

I was talking the other day with someone whom I care about very deeply and utterly respect. I won't go into the details of this person, but I will say that this person is by far my strongest mentor in life. Dude was there and being his usual self.

Have I explained my angel to you yet? He's fantastic, really. He is six years old, bright as sunshine, sharper than a tack, sweeter than honey, and a COMPLETE "pistol" as my mom would say. For a start, he is a six-year-old boy. That in itself is enough for a whole lot of crazy cakes waiting on my plate. But wait! There's more. He has attachment issues (enough that it matters to his therapist, not enough to really label it a "disorder." We know exactly where it stems from, and we're doing the best we can to work with him on it.).  He ALSO has ADHD. Not surprising. His father and I also have ADHD. So, combine those things, and it's a mess. He's tough to handle on a good day. Now, I am not complaining. It is what it is, and we do the best we can.

But anyway, tangents aside, we were discussing his behavior, his social skills, and all that while he was outside playing. He's really well behaved for a kid with the challenges he has. But he has major challenges, so he's not actually "well-behaved" at all. Ever. We're working on it. But I digress. This person, whom I deeply respect and admire as I have mentioned, has been a completely invaluable resource this school year. She taught in early childhood classrooms for most of her adult life, and she has a slew of brilliant ideas for my little man. She has helped us with lessons, field trips, projects, presentations, you name it! But, sitting there the other night, watching my son's typical actions at the end of a long day, she points out that in a classroom he would have to learn to sit still and be quiet, and all the other things kids learn in primary school classrooms. She tells me "I don't believe in homeschooling for most kids, and this is why."

So I want to answer this to some degree. Obviously, I disagree.

I had intended at the beginning of the school year for him to start in the local primary school. I love the way the school system here is designed. Primary is K-2, then elementary is 3-5, middle is 6-8, and high school is 9-12.  Now, if I designed it, I might separate out the 8th and 9th graders and put them in junior high, but that's me, and obviously, I am quickly becoming a homeschool mom, so my opinion doesn't matter a lot there. But I do love that K-2 is in their own school.

Well, we started the process of signing up for Kindergarten in the primary school, and it was a nightmare. Dude was just beginning to recover from a pretty traumatic event in late spring/early summer, and was just starting therapy. We went to the school for his first assessment, and he refused to cooperate. Now, this was a simple assessment. Count the blocks. Count them by twos. What sound does each letter make? Write your name. Stuff like that. Simple things that he could do forwards and backwards. Well, true to form, he refused to participate at all. But, also true to form, instead of saying "I don't want to" he said "I don't know."

Let me back up. When we got there, he was actually pretty excited. But then they told him he had to go with them, but Mama couldn't come with him, and he FREAKED OUT. I have mentioned the disordered attachment issues, right? Well, a big part of that is a very POTENT fear of being separated from his mother and he had JUST, less than a week prior, been pretty darned traumatized in a situation that stretched the limits of that fear.  I had explained this to the school before we even arrived, and reminded them when we got there, but there was no budging, and Dude would NOT comply with the testing process.

So, afterward, the teachers approached me and told me that he did not even know how to write his first name. That's complete nonsense. He knows how to write his name. Moreover, he knows how to write his full legal name (which is not the name he goes by, and the child has two surnames for crying out loud) AND he can spell, if not write reliably by that point, his baptismal name: Angelos. He can count to 100, group items with according to whatever category you tell him, and count by twos without help. He knows not only the NAME of each letter, but the sound(s) it makes, and can tell you a few digraphs like -ph and -th. So I showed him the same cards in front of them, turning it into a game for him, and he knew far more than they asked him to know.

But that wasn't acceptable to them, and they wanted him assessed to be placed in special ed. I spoke to the therapist, and I continued to speak to the school about this. I refused to have him assessed for special ed. He doesn't need it. He just needs somebody to understand that he DOESN'T have a problem learning. I refuse to have him treated as if he is "dumb" or "bad." Because, you see, they labeled what happened as "misbehavior." Also, they refused to allow him a SECOND assessment once he'd had a chance to recover somewhat from his recent trauma.

Given his issues, I decided that schooling him at home would be better for him emotionally. I could have held him back a year and kept him at home, but then he'd be starting Kindergarten at almost-seven, and that's not a good idea either. Especially when you consider that he FINISHED the state's kindergarten requirements and the curriculum of a state school in OCTOBER. I have no regrets about my decision to keep him home, and I intend to continue to do so.

But what about all those classroom skills?

A dear friend and I were recently musing about the types of education available versus the types of students by learning type.  She asserts that the traditional public school classroom crushes little boys. I don't disagree. The public school classroom is designed for visual learners. Yet, 70% of little boys are kinesthetic learners.

I am going to quote directly from the linked page for a moment:



If your child learns best by doing:
  • He works best in short spurts
  • His body may be in constant motion and he has high energy
  • Let him touch things
  • Use movement, games, songs, or silly rhymes to help him remember and learn new things
  • Kinesthetic learners learn bet by moving their bodies, activating their large or small muscles as they learn. These are ‘hands on’ learners or the ‘doers’ who actually concentrate better and learn more easily when movement is involved. the following characteristics are often associated with kinesthetic learners.
Kinesthetic learners:
  • often wiggle, tap their feet, or move their legs when they sit.
  • were often labeled hyperactive as children.
  • learn through movement so they often do well as performers, athletes, actors, or dancers.
  • work well with their hands so they may be good at repairing work, sculpting, art, or working with various tools.
  • are often well-coordinated and have a strong sense of timing and body movement.
So, I don't know if you've checked around, but Kindergarten is not what it was *cough* years ago when I was there. It is no longer about stations to play in, do free art, home living, exploratory science, and movement. The kids at our local school, in KINDERGARTEN, are allowed free play for twenty minutes a day during recess, if it's not raining or very cold. Other than that, starting at the kindergarten level, they are expected to keep their seats, stand in line, and remain relatively quiet. They're not allowed to socialize at lunch even!

I understand the reasons the schools do this (okay, sort of. No. Not at all.), but does that sound at all like an environment where a kinesthetic learner is going to flourish? Overwhelmingly, the list above describes little boys. So, it would follow that, overwhelmingly, little boys are going to be in not-so-little trouble at school.

Let's throw some ADHD into that mix, shall we? It's no small wonder that so many school children are being medicated so young. I think it's a tragedy.

But classroom skills are necessary for professional life! Are they? Are they really?

Certainly there is value in learning to work as a team, to wait one's turn, and to listen politely when others (teachers, leaders, and fellow students) are speaking. Those are basic life skills. I don't feel they require a public school classroom to develop. There are groups at church, sports teams, scout groups, and social outings that help. Is my son behind in this area? Yes. But again, consider that in addition to being a six-year-old, he's also an only child, and he has those challenges we talked about earlier, not least of which is ADHD.  To be honest, I am thirty-two years old, I have ADHD, and I struggle with those things at times. For someone with ADHD, those skills don't just CLICK because you sit in a classroom and get in trouble for NOT having those skills. They take a lifetime to develop. I'll let you know when I've got it down perfectly myself.

But when we think about classroom skills at the primary level, we're not thinking about the same things, I think. Someone told me that those skills learned in the primary grades (being quiet, being still, waiting in line) are NECESSARY JOB SKILLS. Moreover, they were also necessary for success in college.  I've been in and out of college for a while. In fact, I am in college now, and I've got to say, I have not had to raise my hand and ask permission to use the bathroom since 1998.

The Association for Psychological Science conducted a survey, asking professionals what skills they most wanted their college-educated new employees to possess. Here are the results.
  • Monitoring one’s own emotional expressions and responsiveness (e.g., showing interest in and motivation toward the task at hand)
  • Maintaining composure when challenged
  • Speaking and writing in a manner appropriate to the audience (e.g., different levels of formality in different contexts)
  • Being receptive to feedback and constructive criticism (e.g., a willingness to learn and improve)
  • Awareness of personal responsibility as a listener or audience member
  • Respecting others’ professional position, particularly those in authority (e.g., referencing people formally unless instructed otherwise)
  • Being on time
  • Being prepared for the task at hand
  • Being courteous to everyone, regardless of rank or position
  • Appreciating services received and expressing that appreciation
  • Making proper introductions
  • Dressing appropriately
I, frankly, fail to see how those are skills that a home-educated child would be lacking, if educated properly. Dude is six. We're already working very hard on manners and etiquette. Sure, it isn't showing much in social settings, but he's getting there.

Those are skills for business, though, and for AFTER college. Here are some recommended skills to develop in the first year of college:

  • Attend every class and be on time.
  • Learn how to adapt to different instructors
  • Take responsibility for your own learning
  • Be prepared for class
  • Be an active listener
  • Sit in the front of the class if possible
  • Communicate with instructors
  • Bring your book to class if the lecture follows the text
  • Learn note-taking skills
  • Listen for cue words in lectures, such as "this is important"
  • Go over your notes after class
  • Join or set up a study group
Nothing about sitting quietly in your seat and trying to learn the way everyone else does. Yes, students have to learn to adapt, but in adapting, UVU is very specific that the student is responsible for his own learning. I went to public and private schools, and we were certainly not taught to take responsibility for our education. We were taught to fake it and pretend.

But the point I guess I am trying to make is that no amount of desk-sitting or line-walking or finger-on-the-lips-hand-on-the-hips quiet and calm is going to get my primary student ready for college, business, or a trip to Steak N Shake with grandma. What is going to get him ready for college is learning, for business is college, and for a trip to Steak N Shake with Grandma is just practice and patience. 

Adding in the ADHD does make things more challenging. It challenges us as homeschoolers in ways I am sure that classroom teachers wouldn't be challenged. Yet, I am certain that the public schools management is not as effective long-term. 

I haven't really done the research but my experience tells me that teachers or school administrators are often the ones who suggest putting children on medication - usually amphetamine-based stimulants - to manage their AD/HD symptoms at school. While I understand the reasoning, I don't accept it. I just don't. I have had ADHD for something along the lines of 32 years, and I've been medicated and unmedicated. I can honestly say that what truly helped ME was the coaching I had in coping skills and ways to manage without getting too anxious. Dude is a different kid, of course, but I have been researching ADHD medications of late, and I am not impressed. 


One researcher points out that "a smattering of recent studies, most of them involving animals, hint that stimulants could alter the structure and function of the brain in ways that may depress mood, boost anxiety and, contrary to their short-term effects, lead to cognitive deficits. Human studies already indicate the medications can adversely affect areas of the brain that govern growth in children, and some researchers worry that additional harms have yet to be unearthed."  He also points out that "traces of a sinister side to stimulants have also surfaced. In February 2007 the FDA issued warnings about side effects such as growth stunting and psychosis, among other mental disorders. Indeed, the vast majority of adults with ADHD experience at least one additional psychiatric illness—often an anxiety disorder or drug addiction—in their lifetime. Having ADHD is itself a risk factor for other mental health problems, but the possibility also exists that stimulant treatment during childhood might contribute to these high rates of accompanying diagnoses."

Could that explain the OCD I also suffer from?

To take it further, in the words of a physician: "I have seen many such people, mostly young men, in my own practice. This boy was on Ritalin as a child and then Adderall as a teenager. Now he spends most of his time playing video games on his parents’ 55-inch flat screen. He’s 29 years old. He’s guildmaster of his guild in World of Warcraft, but in the real world, he’s nobody. His parents are frantic, but he is content. That may be the end result when the nucleus accumbens is damaged. Medications are not solely to blame for this phenomenon – there are other factors in play – but the fact that this boy was on stimulant medications for many years is most likely a contributing factor."  (of note: This same physician points out that the current teaching methods are doing more harm than good for most boys!)

Do we want this for our children?

Side effects can also include:

  • Insomnia (have that already)
  • Nightmares (check)
  • Loss of appetite (now, he's got a good appetite, most of the time, but not at other times, and he certainly cannot afford to lose any weight)
  • Rebound  effect: when symptoms such as irritability (HAVE THAT) and aggression (THAT TOO!!!) get WORSE than they would have been without the medication.  Yeah, because that sounds like a WONDERFUL idea. Let's do THAT. I enjoy the screaming fits and getting bruised up by my beloved child. Sounds great. Sign me up.
  • Cardiac risks (NO! What?! No!!!!!! Seriously???)
It's just not something I think we need to have to face. 

Psychology Today did a very compelling survey of ADHD children and homeschooling. The results were pretty much what I was personally expecting, but not, I think, what others might expect. They conclude that children who are not in a brick-and-mortar school typically manage ADHD WITHOUT medication. Their second conclusion was one I found particular compelling: "The children's behavior, moods, and learning generally improved when they stopped conventional schooling, not because their ADHD characteristics vanished but because they were now in a situation where they could learn to deal with those characteristics."  They also conclude that many ADHD children have a high-need for a much more self-directed education and that they will hyper-focus on tasks of interest. 

Long story short? These kids are getting a BETTER education at home without having to take hardcore drugs that completely alter their personalities. Not just alter when they are on the meds, but have an intense period of "coming down" at the end of the day.

So we manage Dude's moods and hyperactivity with a very simple protocol. It's chamomile, mint, and lemon balm throughout the day. Magnesium and zinc are added in small quantities to help with attention and focus. Valerian root is added at night to help with sleep troubles. His doctor gave the okay to add a small amount of melatonin when the insomnia is at its worst. Also, staying active helps. Finding lessons for his kinesthetic body and tactile wandering hands is a struggle, but we're working through it. 

All those other things take time, practice, and exposure, and he's getting those.  But I think the science is clear. It's pretty evident that home education is BETTER for kids like mine, not worse. Studies suggest that what I have chosen for my son will help him more in the long run for so many reasons.

There are so many more things I want to speak to, but I have written a short novel already. I may write more on all of this later, but for now, I have to get back to work or catch a nap before the man wakes up in a few short hours. Please continue to keep us in your prayers.